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Saturday, May 28, 2005
much love and appreciation
i returned from rome yesterday with a gift in my inbox. someone, an extremely thoughtful someone, sent me the new album by Common called 'Be'. it was an album i was dying to get my hands on but just couldn't rationalize spending £15 ($30) on and it somehow made it's way to me. whoever sent it must've stopped by this site because they sent it to my chaoticphoenixak@gmail.com e-mail address and nobody knows of that e-mail except people who stop by this site.

so, to my extremely generous friend, whom i do not know and who somehow knows me very well since he/she somehow knew i was craving this album, i give you my thanks in ginormous proportions.

much love to you, and appreciation as well.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
ode to moms
POSITION:
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma,

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
quotes of the day
"i feel like life is careening recklessly through the extreme left lane, while i desperately wish that it were going slower."

"i need a xanax. or a martini. or both. paging karen walker, i wanna be sedated."

both courtesy of anna
my philosophy...

like a phoenix we burn
ourselves all our lives hoping
that the ashes will give birth
to a new us... but all that's left
in the end is nothing.


i have a penchant for nicknames

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