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Monday, January 10, 2005
they're not just cuts and scrapes, they're sexy battle scars
contrary to popular belief, chivalry is alive people, it just gets tangled up in the arrogance of those who feel the need to boost their ego by acting hard and tough. such was the case over my new years trip to toronto with my friends.

we decided to go to the nightclub lucid to celebrate the transition into the new year. they were throwing an extravagant bash that included, among other things, 42 bars, 12 time-zone countdowns, 4 floors, food, and an endless supply of liquor (which of course was the perk that pushed them from being just an option, to the one and only possibility). the club was amazing...at midnight they had free champagne toasts, and after much flirting (and picture taking),
by my boy and i, with violet (the sweet lady bartender) we were able to get multiple free rounds instead of the allotted 1 per person. after hours of partying and drinking, lots of drinking, we grabbed our coats and made our grand exit into the brisk cool night upon where we were faced with the daunting task of seeping through all the people and mass chaos outside and finding a cab.

amidst the swarm of bodies the inevitable occurred and we got split in half.
so me and my friend began our quest to not only find our missing half, but also hail a cab...when suddenly a problem arose, her feet began to hurt (she had just bought new shoes that same day, and i guess what with the change of countries and all she forgot that there's usually a breaking in process that needs to be accounted for...after re-reading that line it seems a bit snarky, but in all honestly it's just my type of humor which you may, or may not, have learned to detect by now). so, we take a break and start leaning against some random car when all of a sudden she starts bugging me to go up the block and try and find them. now, we're in a different country, we're intoxicated, she's a girl, it's late...i'm not really feeling the whole leave her alone while i go up the street idea, so while i try and be polite and just say 'no' i'm flat out thinking 'you fuckin' crazy girl?'...but, as with all women, she keeps nagging me and telling me over, and over, and over again that it's just right up the street...and so, in my stupid drunkenness i reluctantly agreed.

now, i concur (i find it much more fun to concur than to simply agree) that this was a huge elephant-sized mistake, and had i not been intoxicated i probably (i like using italics) wouldn't have left, but, in my defense, after 5 minutes of listening to her saying over, and over, and over again, to just go up the street and check, i pretty much just wanted to make her happy, so i caved, and up the street i went where lo-and-behold, i saw the other two and explained to them that we should all stay together 'cause if we somehow managed to get lost we'd have no way of getting in touch with each other (cellphones don't work in good ol' canadia). they agree, and so we start to head back...that's when i see that suddenly there are two random guys who are harassing my friend while she's leaning against the car.

so, like anybody would do, i go and grab her hand and say 'c'mon, lets go'.
so now, there are these two guys whose egos must've just been busted and are now starting to talk shit, there's my boy whose balls have just been challenged and who's starting to take offense, and there's me, a tired and extremely non-confrontational guy (except for when i'm on the ice with a stick in my hand, then i can be an angry, nasty s.o.b.) who just wants to go back to the hotel, sip on some good ol' pinot grigio, and let my buzz slowly fade away. next thing i know, jackets are coming off, saliva seems to be omnipresent, i try to keep my boy from doing anything stupid and unnecessary when suddenly one of the guys gets in my face...next thing i know, his gargantuan head collides directly with my face, and as cliche as it sounds, the rest is all a blur.

and so, I've rung in the new year (the year of 24, as previously mentioned) having busted not only my nose (which i'm having surgery to have realigned today), but my fist-a-cuffs cherry as well.


so, despite what some may say, chivalry is
not dead, just a little bruised with a broken nose right now.
my philosophy...

like a phoenix we burn
ourselves all our lives hoping
that the ashes will give birth
to a new us... but all that's left
in the end is nothing.


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