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Monday, January 31, 2005
a little flirting never hurts
comment for chairty day!

don't forget to go and leave a comment so that a dollar in your name can go to charity.

here's the website again, and don't forget to tell all your fellow bloggers!

flirt in a skirt.

Saturday, January 29, 2005
big day monday!
on monday, jan 31 (i can't believe it's the end of january seems like only yesterday i was drunk and broke my nose, oh the memories) i urge you all to go visit this cool chica catherine's blog. i just found out she existed only a few days ago and let me tell you, it's quite a cool place to be, it's where they paaaaaaaaaartay is at (and now i shall never return after realizing i am the biggest dork ever for just saying that).

no, but seriously, on monday she is going to be making a dollar donation to a charity, tbd, for every comment that is posted. i've never seen anybody do this before and it's an incredibly original and thoughtful idea so i suggest you all go and not only discover a cool blog but contribute to a good cause, still yet tbd.

as for me, i will most likely be out of commission for while. it's getting down to crunch time, lsat is less than two, i repeat two weeks away, so unless boredom reigns supreme at work i shall most likely not be posting.

and so, i my absence i hope to try and keep you all entertained in a fun game that i found from
cool chica catherine's blog (see #96 on 101 list). so, i start with a question, and then someone answers it in the comments section and then asks a new question. then the next person answers that and asks a new question and so forth.

so, if tomorrow you could pick up and go anywhere in the world, where would you go? and so we begin!

oh, and spread the word about the 'commenting for charity' at
cool chica catherines blog!
Friday, January 28, 2005
mission accomplished
ding dong, the auditors are gone!

after nearly three weeks they have finally completed their audit. no more asking for invoices to be pulled, no more having to reconcile satellite binders, and most importantly no more teasing with the smell of popcorn.

it's 3:30 right now, they literally just left, i think they're at the elevators, and we're about to celebrate.

how you ask? we're making some popcorn!
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
101 things all about me

here it is at long last. i had hoped to get this done in time to post exactly a month after i began blogging but i found it to be quite harder than it looks. especially since after every 15 things i'd be too sick of myself to think of more. oh well, it's the first of many lists, i promise the rest shall be short though.

  1. i am a november baby (scorpio to the bone).
  2. i was born an innie. still one to this day.
  3. i am 72 inches and 158lbs of all muscle (ha, who do i kid, i'm more like a pile of bones with skin attached).
  4. i am a creature of habit and routine.
  5. i sometimes have trouble dealing with major changes.
  6. i don't have many fears.
  7. i do have a fear of water in mass quantities though.
  8. i like to use italics.
  9. i often use them improperly.
  10. i like bi-gender movies.
  11. some people like to call them chick flicks. i am not one of those people.
  12. i have never been a beer person.
  13. i am very much a vodka person and a wine person.
  14. i love me some pinot grigio.
  15. i am not very religious.
  16. i have been the cheated and the cheatee (unaware of both).
  17. i can't ever see myself being a cheater.
  18. i dislike sweets (that includes both ice cream and chocolate).
  19. i often get irritated with my generation. we'll fight like hell to get family guy back on the air but won't show up at the polls to vote.
  20. i take voting very seriously.
  21. i am pro-choice.
  22. i am somewhat of a liberal.
  23. i was born in boston.
  24. i have two older sisters. they are two of the most important people in my life.
  25. i love going to comedy shows.
  26. i'm big on laughing.
  27. i can be quite shy around new people.
  28. i have received one birthday present in my life that has stood head and shoulders above all others and captured the essence that is me. a 24 pack of surge (a soda discontinued), and multiple orange jolly ranchers (a flavor discontinued).
  29. i am partial to products flavored in strawberry or orange. nothing beats cold strawberry pop tarts, or orange jolly ranchers.
  30. i am very organized. organization is key.
  31. i am as anal as they come when it come to the cleanliness of my room and surroundings.
  32. i have been told that this is a character trait that must be abandoned on a road in wyoming never to return again.
  33. i have a soft spot for wyoming. it's a perfect square.
  34. i like to dress nicely.
  35. but i love the days when i can be a scrub.
  36. i aspire to become a lawyer.
  37. i am not really sure why though.
  38. i do know that i love living in the northeast.
  39. i am very much a winter person.
  40. i will however complain about having to shovel.
  41. i am a die hard new york rangers fan.
  42. i am also a huge red sox fan (who's your daddy now biatch!).
  43. i have a very wide taste of music.
  44. i can go from listening to dmx straight to bon jovi and shania twain without a blink of the eye.
  45. i think one of my eyes is larger than the other.
  46. i did not intend for them to be that way.
  47. i'm a romantic.
  48. i am not one of those guys that likes the random hookups.
  49. i am more of a relationship kind of guy.
  50. i like making that last call before i go to sleep.
  51. i often have trouble sleeping.
  52. i feel uncomfortable during stretches of silence. i like to have background noise wherever i am. you'll usually hear music or something from the tv.
  53. the most valuable things i own are my laptop and my hockey card collection. neither one of them can be worth much more than $1,200.
  54. i have a love for word games.
  55. you will not beat me at boggle.
  56. i like to think of myself as a jovial person.
  57. i can be annoyingly stubborn at times though.
  58. my favorite holiday is thanksgiving.
  59. i'm a big fan of eating.
  60. i love me some sushi. spicy tuna and california rolls in particular, with lots of spicy mayo sauce.
  61. i have always had a feeling that i would die at a young age.
  62. in case you can't tell i have thus far managed to prove myself wrong.
  63. this is the only instance in which i am glad to have been proved wrong.
  64. when i was a boy i used to think that being able to shave would finally make me a man.
  65. i wish i could kick that boy. i hate shaving. there is nothing manly about it.
  66. i consider myself to be a very good driver.
  67. i have had some infractions. but none of them were my fault of course.
  68. you would be accurate if you thought i was a speed demon.
  69. my favorite animals are cows and turtles.
  70. i tend to get excited when i see cows. contrary to what you may be thinking right now i am not a hick.
  71. i believe that whenever someone says 'the city' there is only one possible city that said person can be referring to. that city is of course new york city.
  72. i like to consider myself a new york guy.
  73. because of #72 you can tell that i am from jersey.
  74. i may make fun of jersey often, but i have my jersey pride.
  75. i don't like to be ordered to do things. if you want me to do something, just ask.
  76. i am very indecisive.
  77. i like to try and play jeopardy along with the contestants.
  78. i talk shit when i know an answer that they don't.
  79. i don't get to talk shit very often.
  80. i am not one of those people who needs to have a fancy car. give me an altima or a pathfinder and i'll be the happiest guy on earth.
  81. in case you can't tell i have a preference for nissan's.
  82. i have a dot on my thumb that appeared 6-8 years ago out of nowhere.
  83. i can be very random.
  84. i'm a very independent person.
  85. i have a special place in my heart reserved for jessica alba.
  86. i am a movie junkie.
  87. my two favorite movies are shawshank redemption and american history x.
  88. i love to take pictures.
  89. my favorite mythological creature is a phoenix.
  90. it's my favorite word. i love how it's not spelled the way it sounds.
  91. i have always been fascinated with astronomy.
  92. if i could go anywhere it would be the moon and/or pluto.
  93. i have my very own star.
  94. i named it blugo (pronounced blue-go in one swift motion. it's gotta be swift).
  95. i discovered it when i was in high school and came up with the name because it was blue and i wanted to go there.
  96. i am not very creative.
  97. i am also not a good writer.
  98. i really like to read, but don't do it as often as i'd like because i'm very, very, slow at it.
  99. i have been given many nicknames in my life.
  100. i have dispensed many as well (my sisters are known as 'piggy' and 'the ugly'. note: the ugly can be pronounced 'the oooglie' if desired. use of the word 'the' is necessary though).
  101. i have a penchant for nicknames.
Monday, January 24, 2005
a joke
i saw this in the comment section of barefoot ramblings about a week ago and it totally made my day. so for those of you who happen to come upon my site i hope that this can bring a hearty chuckle to your day:

A rabbit was happily hopping along the woods when he came up on a baboon smoking a bong. He looks at the baboon and says "Hey man don't be smoking dope, lets hop through the jungle and be happy and free." So the baboon goes along with the rabbit.

A little later they hop upon an elephant snorting coke through his trunk. The rabbit looks at the elephant and says "Hey man don't be snorting that shit, let's hop through the jungle and be happy and free." So the elephant goes along with the rabbit and baboon.

A little later they hop upon a lion shooting heroin. Before the rabbit can finish his saying the lion beats the little rabbit to death. The baboon and elephant can't believe what they have just seen. So the lion looks over at them and says "That little shit has me run around the jungle for hours every time he is on ecstasy."
Sunday, January 23, 2005
the blogger

this is me, i am the blogger!
the moon
here at the website of the one and only ak, you will be treated to many things.
among them are:
  2. rants
  3. humor (or things that i find to be humorous atleast)
  4. lyrics
  5. and lastly, lists
and thus far i have completed each task (that was my first list) with the exception of lyrics. to be honest i'm rather surprised that i have yet to post some of my favorite (and oh are there many), but, you need to start somewhere. and so, with that, i leave you with a classic, and my all-time favorite (be prepared to hear this same statement about hundreds of other songs).

Frank Sinatra - Fly me to the moon

Fly me to the moon

Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On a-Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me

Fill my heart with song
And let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, in other words
I love ... you

Thursday, January 20, 2005
the battle
okay, so they called my bluff. the auditors from hell knew that i would not actually set their office on fire (a raging one to be precise). in fact, they took it one further and one upped me. it's 4:15 and they're already at it with their frenzied corn popping. they've sensed my weakness and have gone for the kill. and now, i need your help. i'm calling on all arms, and legs if need be, to tell me what the best smelling food is that i can bring in here on monday so that for once they'll get a taste of their own medicine.

what is the best smelling food that if you were forced to only smell and not eat would drive you mad? and we're not talking about that 'oh that smells so good can i please have a bite' madness. oh hell no, that's the weak stuff. that just simply will not cut the cheese man. i'm talking about that madness that'll have them crawling on their hands and knees while waving the white flag of surrender. anything less than that is simply unacceptable.

oh these auditors are gonna rue the day they messed with ak! (did you like how i made that rhyme? did ya, did ya, did ya???)
inauguration day
seeing as how today is inauguration day and all, i thought i would share my feelings on our current situation with you all:

yeah, that pretty much sums it up
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
the auditors from hell
i don't mind the fact that you've come in here and taken over the office. i don't mind the fact that you make your outrageous demands of things that you need done in order to successfully complete your audit. demands that you make to the higher authorities who all seem to feel that these tasks would be perfect for the interns to learn. perfect not because the interns would actually learn something relevant in the practice of accounting and finance by making photocopies of the hundreds of invoices that these auditors decided need to be photocopied in the next 15 minutes, but rather because by handing off the task you've avoided hours of mind numbingly boring work that puts you on the verge of cutting off your hands so that you cant hold a piece of paper EVER AGAIN (although they'd probably say that we're fully capable of making photocopies using our feet, toes can be like fingers you know). but like i said, i don't mind that.

BUT, if you make popcorn at 4:30, during the most excruciatingly long last 30 minutes anyone ever has to endure before being granted the right the leave, ONE. MORE. TIME. i swear on my left nut i will set your office on a raging fire the likes never seen before. and you wont be able to leave because the doors would have automatically shut and the knob would have gotten hot what from all the fire.

try making popcorn then biatches!

this is fire safety?
now i'm relatively new to the whole working in an office experience. after all i am still a college student with another year and a half left before graduation. but at the school i attend they have a co-op program which allows us to get working experience for 6 months at a time so that we'd be better prepared for when we complete our schooling, so in addition to my summer internships this is what i've been doing for the last 3 months and what i intend to do until LONDON BABY!!! (that is how i shall officially refer to it from now on, no ifs, ands, or buts).

today however was a truly new experience, one which i do not believe my university intended for me to learn during said co-op. this morning we had a fire drill, which i never really thought i'd have to endure after i left high school but i digress, after the alarms went off and i reached for my jacket, unlike some people who shall remain url'less i do not live in the sunbelt and here
people die from the cold, when suddenly i heard a big slam. my first thought was damn it's just a fire alarm why would somebody jump, after coming to my senses and exiting my cubicle i realized that the slamming, which i thought was a body, was actually the sound of all the doors, to both offices and hallways, slamming shut automatically.

now maybe it's just me, and i understand that by shutting the doors their intention may be to prevent those lucky enough to have an office to burn like all the lowly cubicle workers like myself, BUT, doesn't having the doors slam shut produce a further obstacle that those lucky enough to have an office must now overcome, not to mention the doors to the hallway that ALL of us have to now get past? but then again, maybe those lucky enough to have an office also have a magical slide that pops out of their window and allows them to 'wheeeee' their way down to safety while us cubicle workers have to fend for ourselves overcoming slammed doors on our mad dash to the bitter cold safety.

all of this while trying to get our gloves and scarfs on of course.

Monday, January 17, 2005
my day off
i miss the old days when on a day off you could relax, sit back, pop open a good book, or maybe catch up on the time magazines that for the past 4 weeks have been collecting dust because you've been too busy to give them the attention they deserve. maybe you'd go catch a movie since the last one you'd seen in a theater was last summer, or get together with a bunch of friends and go out to eat, or better yet, go out to eat pancakes at (insert favorite pancake eating place here) for breakfast or brunch or any meal of the damn day you want since it's your day off and you can do that.

on this day off (if you choose to call it that) i awoke at 6am, after only 4 hours of sleep due to studying 'til 2 for my lsat test on feb 12, only to be forced to go out in the wild cold (where snow was on the ground mind you) to drop my sister off at the train station. came back home, showered, and proceeded to go to the most fun place in the entire world. seriously guys, i mean when you think of a rockin' party, or the best day ever, this is the place that you think of. got an image in your head, got your little happy place that'll take you to never never land (not the ranch) and make you fly, do you have it? okay...i bet we're all thinking of the same place...are you guys thinking of...........the library right now, because that's where i am.

okay so maybe i took it a wee bit too far there, but hey, that's what this place will do to you. it messes with your mind, especially when you've been here since 8:00am studying (again) for the lsats. oh but that's not all, oh no, in an hour (about 6:00pm) i get to go to class. can you all guess what class that is??? that's right, lsat class, candycanes go out to everyone who guessed right (we have a lot left over).

i guess i really shouldn't complain, and i normally don't, but i'm just in a mood today and i think everyone should be entitled to a mood every once in a while, otherwise we'd all be living in a happy joyous world. and seriously folks, if it were happy-go-lucky all the time, wouldn't you wanna punch someone, or better yet, head-butt them (haha, that was slick right, yeeaaaaaah, i know you love it).

but in all seriousness folks, thanks for bearing with me on my woe-is-me post, you wont hear any more whining out of me. after all, i do have something to look forward to and the end of all this.

10 glorious weeks spent studying abroad in london.

that's right. from the end of march to mid-june LONDON BABY!

Sunday, January 16, 2005

totally something that you'd expect to see on one of those late night tv talk show headlines segments
Friday, January 14, 2005
battling insomnia
it's 1:35 in the morning, i can't sleep...i'm drugged up on pain killers (prescribed oxycodone aka percocet), antibiotics (penicillin), cold medicine (tylenol pm and nyquil...neither does shit), and i can't sleep...

i'm watching tv...conan o'brien just finished, now i'm stuck watching the painfully annoying carson daly...he should be sued, reasons for said suing is yes to be determined...suggestions are welcomed

it's now 1:42, my eyes feel heavy and yet light as a feather all at the same time

due to my inability to sleep and the lack of any functionality in my brain right now i will conclude this meaningless post by giving you, the occasional reader, a glimpse into my daily* routine: work, princeton review (lsat), library (lsat), home, food, daily show, sleep, rinse, repeat

it's now 1:51

*expires 2/12/05 and then subject to change
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
did anybody by any chance happen to catch the last 5 minutes of abc's show 'lost' yesterday...tivo accidentally cut it off...if so, could you please comment as to how the show cut off right when boone comes and jumps on locke

much appreciation
Monday, January 10, 2005
they're not just cuts and scrapes, they're sexy battle scars
contrary to popular belief, chivalry is alive people, it just gets tangled up in the arrogance of those who feel the need to boost their ego by acting hard and tough. such was the case over my new years trip to toronto with my friends.

we decided to go to the nightclub lucid to celebrate the transition into the new year. they were throwing an extravagant bash that included, among other things, 42 bars, 12 time-zone countdowns, 4 floors, food, and an endless supply of liquor (which of course was the perk that pushed them from being just an option, to the one and only possibility). the club was midnight they had free champagne toasts, and after much flirting (and picture taking),
by my boy and i, with violet (the sweet lady bartender) we were able to get multiple free rounds instead of the allotted 1 per person. after hours of partying and drinking, lots of drinking, we grabbed our coats and made our grand exit into the brisk cool night upon where we were faced with the daunting task of seeping through all the people and mass chaos outside and finding a cab.

amidst the swarm of bodies the inevitable occurred and we got split in half.
so me and my friend began our quest to not only find our missing half, but also hail a cab...when suddenly a problem arose, her feet began to hurt (she had just bought new shoes that same day, and i guess what with the change of countries and all she forgot that there's usually a breaking in process that needs to be accounted for...after re-reading that line it seems a bit snarky, but in all honestly it's just my type of humor which you may, or may not, have learned to detect by now). so, we take a break and start leaning against some random car when all of a sudden she starts bugging me to go up the block and try and find them. now, we're in a different country, we're intoxicated, she's a girl, it's late...i'm not really feeling the whole leave her alone while i go up the street idea, so while i try and be polite and just say 'no' i'm flat out thinking 'you fuckin' crazy girl?'...but, as with all women, she keeps nagging me and telling me over, and over, and over again that it's just right up the street...and so, in my stupid drunkenness i reluctantly agreed.

now, i concur (i find it much more fun to concur than to simply agree) that this was a huge elephant-sized mistake, and had i not been intoxicated i probably (i like using italics) wouldn't have left, but, in my defense, after 5 minutes of listening to her saying over, and over, and over again, to just go up the street and check, i pretty much just wanted to make her happy, so i caved, and up the street i went where lo-and-behold, i saw the other two and explained to them that we should all stay together 'cause if we somehow managed to get lost we'd have no way of getting in touch with each other (cellphones don't work in good ol' canadia). they agree, and so we start to head back...that's when i see that suddenly there are two random guys who are harassing my friend while she's leaning against the car.

so, like anybody would do, i go and grab her hand and say 'c'mon, lets go'.
so now, there are these two guys whose egos must've just been busted and are now starting to talk shit, there's my boy whose balls have just been challenged and who's starting to take offense, and there's me, a tired and extremely non-confrontational guy (except for when i'm on the ice with a stick in my hand, then i can be an angry, nasty s.o.b.) who just wants to go back to the hotel, sip on some good ol' pinot grigio, and let my buzz slowly fade away. next thing i know, jackets are coming off, saliva seems to be omnipresent, i try to keep my boy from doing anything stupid and unnecessary when suddenly one of the guys gets in my thing i know, his gargantuan head collides directly with my face, and as cliche as it sounds, the rest is all a blur.

and so, I've rung in the new year (the year of 24, as previously mentioned) having busted not only my nose (which i'm having surgery to have realigned today), but my fist-a-cuffs cherry as well.

so, despite what some may say, chivalry is
not dead, just a little bruised with a broken nose right now.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
quote of the weekend
as seen at digital fishwrap:
"If you haven’t been skinny dipping, you should try it. And if you have, you know.
It’s like sex. How do you describe sex to someone who hasn’t done it? Swimming with a bathing suit on is like masturbation. It feels good, no question. But it can’t adequately prepare you for the feeling of going all the way."

i'll be out of commission for a little while, on monday i'll be having surgery to correct the placement of my nose which was broken at the time i acquired my sexy battle's wishing everyone happy blogging while i'm away
Thursday, January 06, 2005
we can all do our part
on or around september 15th, 2001, i found myself unable to watch tv any longer. the constant images of the mass destruction that our country endured was too overwhelming for me. i personally found it easier to mourn without having a visual reminder shown to me every 5 minutes from every network.

in the aftermath of the tsunami i found myself in this similar position.

sometimes we find it easier to deal by simply distancing ourselves from that which is causing grief. but while doing so we must not forget that those that were affected are our fellow inhabitants on this planet and they are in need of help.

we're so far removed from the devastation and destruction that we might find it easy to forget. but the fact is over 150,000 innocent lives, mostly children, were lost. and all this due to something as random as the weather.

after 9/11 many countries came to our aid. people around the globe extended their support and gave donations to help the families that were coping with a loss. i feel it is now our time to return the helping hand that was given to us at that time.

i would like to strongly urge you to make any kind of
monetary donation possible to the relief effort in southeast asia. please do not forget that we are all one of the same.

you can make donations
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
i did not fall off
i'm sure some may have thought that i was just like many new bloggers, i would post for about all of a week because it was what all the cool kids were doing, and then fall off the face of the earth...sorry to disappoint. actually, i have quite a lot that i would like to write about but my horrible, wretched, pathetic laptop had to be sent in to be repaired for the 4th time this year, and our pc at home is as slow as the tortouis (minus all the cool tricks)...

hope everyone had a great holiday and new years. mine was quite the fun time for the most part. while some may say that this is the year of 05 i'm adamant in my belief that this shall forever be known to me as the year of 24, as in the number of stitches that i had to get because of a post new years eve fracas outside of the club my friends and i visited in toronto that left me bloodied in three areas and with a broken nose (still yet to be fixed by an ent (and i don't mean the cool trees in lord of the rings, although that would be quite cool)).

more on that to come...

my philosophy...

like a phoenix we burn
ourselves all our lives hoping
that the ashes will give birth
to a new us... but all that's left
in the end is nothing.

i have a penchant for nicknames

101 things all about me
e-mail me

instant message me

steal this button and link to me!

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